Monday, December 26, 2016

love


It’s funny how many things in life, us, humans, cannot understand completely.
Above all there’s Love.

We say “I love you” to a lot of people and a lot of times during our lives, but how many times do we really mean that.
I found it really weird when I first started learning English that when you want to say that you really like somebody and you care for them you say “I love you” as well as when you mean that you really care for a person so much you’d die for them. There is a huge difference that, to me, it’s not fully expressed by those three words.
In Italian we use different expressions which divide the “level” of love or, if you will, interest you have for that person.

Saying “I love you” is definitely something amazing. Love is not a feeling everybody will be able to feel through his life. This is why these three words have now become meaningless to me half of the times they are pronounced.
You can feel affection, you feel a connection, you feel interest but love it’s rare.

Maybe it’s just me, taking things too seriously.

Yes, maybe it’s just me. Again a lonely monster between common sense and madness. The line is thin.

Friday, December 23, 2016

A new school



Recently I’ve been  thinking about school.
I’m almost done, after 5 years in high school. I really can’t wait to go to university and study something I really like and building step by step my future.
But first, let me talk a little bit about the school system in Italy. I won’t bother you too much, promised.

So, for what concerns high schools, every student must attend it for at least three years.
As soon as you are 16 you can leave school, but not one university will ever accept you in, since you need to do one big exam during the last year of high school to join one.
You get to do the exam  after 5 years of high school.
High schools are divided into “categories”: scientific schools (based on science, physics, math etc.), classical schools (based on greek,  latin, italian and philosophy), linguistic schools, art schools. Ok, you got the idea.
So there isn’t the possibility of changing and choosing the subjects. Once you join a school, you must attend all the lessons they give you. The subjects are, more or less, 10/11 for each school.
We attend school from Monday to Saturday, from 8 am to 1 pm.
And now you’ll probably think “Only 5 hours at school??”. Yep… plus the other 5 hours (at least) at home studying every evening.
Sports and artistic subjects are almost entirely excluded from the schools’ schedules, unless you attend a specific school for those.

Now let me get to the rant.
I think that the first absurd thing is that we cannot choose the subjects we want to study. We are asked, at the age of 14, to pick a school which we’ll have to attend for the next  5 years.
What the hell does a 14 years old know about what he/she is going to do in the future??
Look at me. I attend a scientific school in my city, but I found a deep passion for art two years ago, and now I’m spending all my time and efforts into a school that doesn’t appeal to me at all anymore.

The next absurd thing is that we, Italians, are the only people who have to attend high school for 5-damn-years. When all over the world, people go to university one year before us.

Not to mention all the stress and competition, sick competition, that inevitably leads to anger, frustration and hate. Towards other students and teachers.

Nobody in MY country seems to realize that solutions may be found for all these problems.
Italy is a country lead by old people, working to make their lives better. They invest all their time on planning how to let these same old people rule the country, while kids like me, who cannot even vote yet, stay there, watching everything falling apart.

I’m not the first one talking about these issues, but apparently the majority of teenagers seem to be ok with all of this. They seem to have lost faith in the future. No one has dreams anymore, nor passions.
It’s horrible staying here, watching all this happening and being told that I’m just a kid, wanting to change everything but without the power to make it.

Hopefully, somebody will, sooner or later, understand how overrated is our school system.

And hopefully somebody, will change it.

Monday, December 5, 2016

Discomfort


I can be such a difficult person to deal with from time to time.
Actually I'm always kind of tricky to figure out at first glance, but I can assure you that I actually make sense sometime.

I am quite hard with myself and, I admit, with other people too when it comes to behaviours.
I've felt discomfort in the past, I know how it feels when you seem to be out of place, when you don't know what to say, or feel restricted.
I know the feeling of letting someone down and letting myself down too, this is why I promised myself a long time ago that I would have always tried to avoid all the situations where I won't be able to be myself.

This may sound restricting in the first place but it's not.
It's a sort of moral pact I signed with myself to prevent sadness and discomfort.
Which doesn't mean I now am the happiest person on Earth, it just means that I don't do what doesn't allow me to be myself.

This decision also made me think about the society we live in. It's really demanding to be a 21st Century citizen because, if you think about it carefully, you won't fit in anyway.
I mean, you are either too short or too tall, too weird or too white. There' no way you'll ever be matching the "ideal person" standards everybody seems to know but anybody seems to ever reach.

So I made this "weakness" my strength because there's no such beautiful thing as self consciousness.